COMING SOON: THE SENIOR WEEK CHRONICLES

GET EXCITED, DAWG

Holy Shitballs, an Update?! Edit: NUGGET NECTAR

Yes.  Yes indeed.  Mikey here and I have decided to update the blog.  I really don't have a game plan here, so I'm just gonna spitball.  Tonight is Erev D-Day and I couldn't be more excited.  Speaking of alcohol I think I just realized exactly what I'm going to write about.


FORGET WHAT WE SAID ABOUT  FORTIES.  FORGET WHAT WE SAID ABOUT ADMIRAL NELSON.  I have discovered the greatest alcoholic beverage known to man.


You may apprehensively interject, "But Mikey, I am confused.  You already told me about forties and Admiral Nelson.  I've made the lifestyle changes.  I've put in the work and have rededicated my life to these cheap--albeit delicious--refreshments.  I have now grown to fear change, Mikey.  I fear that if I change my ways unreasonable things will happen to me.  What if my student loans literally explode in my face?  Like, the physical paper bill that they are on decides to spontaneously combust right up in my beautiful mug and I get some singe marks on my carpet."


I will then say, "You are gonna have to go ahead and relax, random blog reader.  And frankly, you sound like a huge bitch.  I haven't even said anything yet at all regarding lifestyle changes.  But now that we're on the topic, you should stop using Axe body spray.  What is this?  2002?  Grow up. "


I will then tell you to change everything you know because while you were sleeping, the beer game changed, dawg.  Tröegs Brewery makes this beer called Nugget Nectar that is probably the greatest thing ever.  Of all things.  This takes the cake.  It's like sipping on beer from the tit of God.  If Heaven exists, God will have tits.  And those tits will be chock full of Nugget Nectar.  Not only is it delicious, but look at that sweet logo.  It's like a revolution of hops.  And where is this revolution occurring?  Libya?  Egypt?  HELL NO.  It's happening right in your fuckin' mouth, bro.  Take it in.  Let it all up in there.  And then be like, "Thanks Mikey.  You have good taste."  I know my friend.  I know.


Mikey OUT