We're Admiral men as you all know. Some have called this the drink of the Gods. Others have stated loudly over an open toilet bowl that they vow to never sip on the devil's blood again.
But whoever you are, if you don't love the Admiral with his pearly white trousers and flowing crimson locks and silver beer stein that is soooo clearly filled with rum. Like WTF?? And also that rippling royal azure sailor pea coat thing that he wears. Yeah that thing. It's fuckin awesome. Yahmo buy one. Regardless, if you don't love the Admiral and all of his said accessories then you can GIT OUT.
But whoever you are, if you don't love the Admiral with his pearly white trousers and flowing crimson locks and silver beer stein that is soooo clearly filled with rum. Like WTF?? And also that rippling royal azure sailor pea coat thing that he wears. Yeah that thing. It's fuckin awesome. Yahmo buy one. Regardless, if you don't love the Admiral and all of his said accessories then you can GIT OUT.Just for those of you who don't know, I'll give you a small summary of Admiral Nelson's fine and worthy accomplishments. Born in 35B.C., he was born under the careful eye of a handsome, young consultant and a beautiful, gorgeous, and even pretty peasant in the murky waters of the Nile River. Skip ahead to the Napoleanic Wars, and Nelson has made quite a name for himself. He runs a profitable sub-premium rum company based out of the cargo hold of the H.M.S. Lousititanica, and has been promoted to Admiral of the Royal Navy of Britain. Unfortunately for him, his off-the-charts 401k plan plummeted in the Great Stock Crash of 1769. This left him belittled and embarrassed, and in a fit of rage, attempted an atomic century with his own shitty rum, leaving him dead. After his death, Nelson took up such hobbies as water polo, playing clave in a Cuban-Jazz big band, and MMORPG's. In fact, he was ranked 15th in the world at one point during his peak playing time of WoW.
Now you may be thinking to yourself, well what the hell does this have to do with myself? Well here's your answer: You should be thanking Jesus for the trials and tribulations that Vice Admiral Horatio Nelson, 1st Viscount Nelson, 1st Duke of Bronté was brave enough to create a sub-par rum to get your dumb-ass drunk off of. Good luck and good night.
By the way, the best part of the bottle is the recipe on the back. Rum and coke. Complicated enough for you fuckers?
Love,
Zach and Mikey
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